About a year ago we moved up to the ranch. “The Ranch” is actually situated in a real town with a real name called Likely. Contrary to popular belief, we do have a post office, so it technically does make us a real town (yes - even if it’s only open M-F from 12:00 to 4:00). I know what you’re thinking, you probably watched the documentary on PBS that aired right after the 700 Club, and are dying to move here right? Well, before you drop everything and pack up that U-Haul, there are some things you should know:
1. You’ll be the only one with a painting of your dog hanging in your house. Actually, you’ll be the only one who allows their dog in the house. Wait, you allow your dog on the bed? You might not want to move here.
2. Speaking of - someone’s dog will probably make their way into your yard. Not to worry though - you’ve got the entire town’s phone numbers on a list in your kitchen cupboard; and if you’re not sure who the owner is, Carol down at the general store surely will.
3. Your neighbors will become your best friends, and you’ll finally understand how that’s even possible.
4. You’ll think of age as just a number when making new friends, so what if she’s 60, she has the personality of a 30 year old, and that’s all that matters. When you’re 1 of 7 under 30, beggars can’t be choosers.
5. You’ll break down and make friends on Instagram. Your city friends will look at you like you’re bonkers, but like I said, beggars can’t be choosers.
6. You can bring home kittens and chicks on the same day, and not even have to think twice about it because you’re the weird one for not having kittens or chicks in the first place.
7. You’ll get really good at meal planning and making grocery lists, because the nearest grocery store is half an hour away. Oh, and if you forgot an ingredient, you’ll become really good at improvising. “Best by 2012” means nothing to you anymore, no, not even when